Friday, March 23, 2012

time passes

so many things to think about.

i have a beautiful friend living in tampa, fl.  i have loved her for so many years it seems almost incredible.  when i think of her i see her laughter.  its one of the best laughs i have ever heard and i will always treasure it.  she is so brave and strong.  if i could only hug her i would probably never let go. 

there is a man i love so dearly.  i have loved him more than he realizes.  maybe some day he will know.  he is beautiful, funny, kind, courageous, and so full of life.  to hear his voice again would be a blessing.  for him to believe i love him would be a miracle.

there is truly a beautiful woman that i know.  well, i know her just a little bit.  i pray that one day she will realize i love her.  so much has already happened in her young life.  but all these miles between us doesn't stop me from being proud of her.  and maybe some day she will share her daughter with me.

there is a girl i once knew so well.  last i knew she lived in ellijay.  her little boy is all grown up by now.  i wish i had her number so we could catch up.  i suppose that would be a very long conversation.  we spent our "wild days" together.  funny memories we could share.

i spent the day with a sweet friend.  i do believe and dare say she is the only person i know that never says an unkind word about anybody.  she makes an overwhelming chore become  but just a moment in time.  before i knew it she had to go.  i can hardly wait to see her again.  she is such a rare jewel.  i always make sure that when she leaves my house she has a new "pocketbook."

a neighbor died the other day.  we saw it coming.  i called him "baby chick" because his graying hair still blond always seemed to be a wisp that i just had to touch.  before i would leave from each visit i would pat him on the head with a kiss. " i love you baby chick" as he would grab for my hand. and in my ear i hear him say "i'm scared."  i told him "we all are."  now his wife in all her wisdom is alone.  i never seem to have a girlfriend my age.  she is in her 70s.  through all of our tears we always find laughter.  good bye baby chick.

there's this man i know.  and he knows me.  he saved my life and i am forever grateful.  we have known each other for many years now.  as time passes i see him less and less.  i often wonder what i will do when he leaves this earth.  i don't like thinking about it.  one day he told me "you are the bravest woman i have ever met."  the look on his face with those precious words will always be etched in my heart.  he gave me courage and i can never repay him.

i've been invited to a baby shower.  my little friend is having her third baby; another boy.  we actually had our babies in the same year.  i was 45 and she is still in her 20s.  like i said - i never seem to have a friend my age.  but these days we rarely see each other.  regardless, our friendship is wonderful.  from the moment we met we both knew we would be friends for life.  we still have "moms day out" leaving our boys with their daddies.  our favorite hangout is ihop, a stack of pancakes, and coffee.  her husband hates me - lol!  we have a mutual understanding about each other so, no worries.  "pass and re-pass" as my grandma used to say.

these people that i know, that i miss, and i love, are woven into my life.  the memories are threaded through my heart.  the tears and laughter are the perfect watercolor that begins on a blank page.  one never knows how it will turn out.  but it is created by the artist in all of us.  we have a purpose for that chance meeting.  whether we continue the journey together or a choice is made to take another path.  in the grand scheme of things we do not dictate, as some would want to do, who is right or wrong.  it is only begun by a simple need to be loved.

it seems such a long time since i've been here last.  time truly passes quickly.  i have so much to share with so many.  i wish they knew that i love them and i pray for them.  i hope that each passing day brings joy and laughter.

photo by a.s.
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz